Seeing straight allies on facebook with the “red =” pic is literally bringing tears to my eyes. Not because they’re making a huge difference in the supreme court decision or anything, but because of how far we’ve come. Ten years ago, this type of public support would never have happened. Twenty years ago, I couldn’t have dreamed of marriage. Thirty years ago, I might’ve been killed for being who I am. But here we are in 2013 and the shift in attitude is phenomenal. Thanks for being cool, you guys.

So last night I learned to never stick my finger in a straight man’s asshole. Just because he wants a bj doesn’t mean he wants an identity crisis.

A while back I posted an ad and took it down the next day because I was getting so much spam. But I still get spam, like a month later. No bueno. But today, they got bold, and a *girl* emailed me. 

You appear so delicious as hell! You’re likely interested in a man but I’m a girl…is that okay? I have a fetish for gay men and have always wondered what’s like to get with one. I bet I can pleasure you in ways that no other guys can do to you! Plus, I have 2 tight holes instead of 1 so why wouldn’t you choose me? Since you’ve asked for my pix I’m attaching a few hope you find me hot. Can we meet on my profile site right now? My husband checks my email so I can’t get caught talking to you via email. I’ll be on all day and I’ll message you on there so we can exchange cell #s and get this going. I am real but are you? Cya! 

I decided to leave the obviously fake link out, but still. I can’t believe how offensive this is, and it just really bothers me, probably more than it should. This has to be the same spammer because the ad isn’t up so it has to be someone who saved the address. But seriously? Oh god. I’m so fucking pissed right now. “So why wouldn’t you choose me?” Well for one, you’re a woman. With a vagina that I have  absolutely no interest in. And for two, this same spammer has been replying to ab ad that hasn’t existed in ages. At least it sends hot pics some times, until this. Ugh, no. Just stop. This is not ok. I feel like I just got done rimming Ke$ha, I feel so dirty. 

Tl;dr Spam is gross. 

1. Have you ever had intercourse? Assuming we’re defining intercourse as ‘genital to genital contact’ (and assuming the mouth doesn’t count as genitals), then only frotting…

This thing is making me sound so much more boring than I actually am haha

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All I hear is fury and sound
The sound of my mother and stepfather fighting
The sound of arguments lost
The sound of “I told you so”
The sound of profanity
The sound of falling picture frames
The sound of failing marriages

The sound of hearts, beating and breaking
The sound of lies, and the tolls that they’re taking 
The sound of life, and the changes I’m making

Happiness, faking. Anger, awaking
All I while I lay silent

And the scariest sound of all
The sound of nothing at all